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Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Saturday, August 04, 2007

"MUH-MUH-MUH MY PATRONUS!"

A Patronus is guaranteed protection against Dementors in the form of a silvery animal. Harry Potter's Patronus is a stag. Hermione's is an otter. Here's some others...

MY TOP FIVE FANTASY PATRONUSES:
1. OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN















2. IGGY POP



















Having 1974 Iggy Pop as a Patronus would be like a Halloween Christmas. Slinky and silvery without the help of a wand, Iggy would be like a graceful woodland Doe until he takes too much mescaline, and then the Dementors would be in a world of hurt. Iggy would most likely keep it light these days though. A lot of fun horrible jokes, a thermos of coffee, earnest enthusiasm and a winning smile.

3. CHARLES NELSON RILEY (R.I.P)















I honestly would feel the safest with Charles Nelson Riley. I would feel not scared and that everything would be okay. Perhaps I'd be lucky enough for him to tell me stories about 1960's Hollywood? I would probably produce the Charles Nelson Riley Patronus everyday just so that I could ask him about Match Game. Or so that he could give me a caramel from his pocket. After five minutes with Charles Nelson Riley, the Dementors would be ready to give up the evil and go bowling with Charo. Believe me.

4. RIO

















"...Cherry ice cream smile / I suppose it's very nice." With testament like that from Simon LeBon, the clear choice for Number Four (Privet Drive...Heeee! Nerds.) is the one who dances on the sand: Rio. Her plan is to distract the Dementors with champange and mischief (much like when she drove Duran Duran crazy - in love! - with her beach shenanigans in the music video).

5. KING PANDA OF CAKELAND
"I AM KING PANDA OF CAKELAND! TODAY I SHALL HAVE THREE PIECES! CHANGE THE STATION! CHANGE THE STATION! FOR I DO NOT LIKE THE PUFF DADDY! YES! KEEP THE STATION THERE FOR IT IS THAT SUMMER HIT THAT I DO NOT WANT TO LIKE, YET I CANNOT STOP DANCING TO! I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SEW! TEACH ME! TEACH ME! I DO NOT LIKE SEWING ANYMORE! UNLEARN MY HEAD OF SEWING! UNLEARN MY HEAD OF SEWING! IT IS TIME AGAIN FOR NEW CAKE! TOSS ME THAT BALL FOR I KNOW FOURSQUARE SHORTCUTS THAT WILL SAVE YOUR FOURSQUARE GAME REPUTATION!"

Who is YOUR favorite Patronus?
Write us!
Biz & Jordi
PPPA
Australia, USA
-J.

1 Comments:

At 8:11 PM, Anonymous stuporfly said...

My Patronus would be the large prosthetic ears John Turturro is wearing to play former Yankees manager in an ESPN movie about the 1977 Bronx Bombers.

 

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