Labradacht!

Labradacht! is near.


Labradacht!, is a Netherlands holiday which means: "Wise Town Yellow Dog Who Tells the Future!"

1. The week leading up to Labradacht!, the 'kinder' (or 'children') nominate their favorite barn elf to be Baron of Festivities. This is done through a play in the town square starring puppets they make out of 'kandy' (or 'candy').

2. Once a barn elf is chosen (that only they can see) they make a rendering of the barn elf out of porridge and fashion a Baron of Festivities hat made of pancakes. A monocle is made out of twigs. He is then put in a stool and placed next to a window nearest to where the Oldest Man in Town lives, so that he may watch over the town.

3. Two nights before Labradacht!, it's time to leave offerings of praise and joy at the doorstep of the Wise Town Yellow Dog so that he may be prepared to tell the future on the actual day of Labradacht!. These include shoes, clogs and boots filled with carrots. With each offering the following is spoken: "Labradacht! Labradacht! Ich ein beinnen die deuschcremmen! POW!"

(Translates to: "Yellow Dog! Yellow Dog! Tell us our future and you will be rewarded in carrots! BANG!")

4. On Labradacht! Eve, a dance is performed for the Baron of Festivities by all of the town's young people. They wear orange to represent the carrots left, clogs to represent what the carrots are in and coats made of porridge. At 11PM a re-enactment of the first Labradacht! is performed by the older siblings of the town's young people. They act out the arrival of Wise Town Yellow Dog by boat and light candles made of porridge. At midnight, the Town Crone comes out and points her stick at random until it lands on a redheaded child who is then put to death.

5. Labradacht! Morning...There is much excitement as the town gathers outside the Wise Town Yellow Dog's home. The Baron of Festivities is placed on the doorstep and the second youngest young person in town knocks three times. The door is opened and Wise Town Yellow Dog is led out to point his paw either North, South, East or West. Wherever his paw points is where the future will be! There is wild cheering and porridge eating as another Labradacht! comes to a close. The rest of the day is spent watching a play about being lazy and being killed for idle hands. At night, the town goes crazy at the discotheque!

6. Sweden is so crazy.

J.