The Fonz Doesn't Like Carols

Heeeeeey,

After covering the front desk today at work where a radio station played nothing but Christmas carols, I know now more than ever that there are some Christmas songs that CAN'T be made to sound "cool" no matter who is singing it, the arrangement...any of those things.

"The Little Drummer Boy" is NOT a good song. David Bowie couldn't even save it. I have heard five different versions of it today and not one of them made me a fan. The worst was Michael Bolton (naturally) trying to stab it with "soul", but the song just ruptured and bled all over the carpet of my ears. It was horrible.

Boney M's version of "Mary's Boy Child" made me smile, as Boney M has one sound, and one sound only. Boney M are a harmless German calypso-disco band from the late 70's and they wear lots and lots and lots of gold. Other songs they have done have been about Rasputin and notorious bank robber Ma Baker - and all of it is pretty much the same song. They are very sweet and don't know any better (this version of "Mary's Boy Child" was used in "The Office Christmas Special"). Boney M are like a disco puppy.

I wouldn't mind going caroling this year, but I would only want to sing off of Billy Joel's "Glass Houses". Maybe that'll get me a well deserved cup of coccoa.

It was supposed to snow again, and it didn't. I need to not be so easily seduced by five-day forecast graphics.

-Jordi.