Dear Diary

Hi! So it has been awhile since I have visited my own damn blog. I want to thank Jordi for keeping it real. The last month has kinda been…well..shitty…and every time I think to go and write on the blog I decide CSI is more entertaining and less “hard.” The week before Thanksgiving, my Papa needed to have emergency open heart surgery. That Monday I was on the phone hearing that he was going in for tests and then Tuesday the call is “he is going in tomorrow morning, you must come home now” as in, this may be the last time you see your Papa. So down I went. It was very intense. My father’s surgery was a complete success and if he takes care of himself he could live another 20 years. Of course, the trick here is taking care of yourself. He wasn’t the greatest at that to begin with. So I was down there for a week until we got him home and then I had to fly back and go right into periodontal surgery.

I am a yuck mouth.

Basically, they pull your gums open, file down some bone, graft in new bone and gum and then sew you back up. Just for “fun” they also pulled a tooth. Fantastic! I am the proud owner of a lisp. Adorable. To hear me say "sketchfest" is precious. (arrrg) They wouldn’t put me under for this, so I was only on Novocain. Guess what, I apparently have a crazy enzyme that breaks down Novocain rapidly, so I felt a majority of this.

Let me add that I have a serious issue with dentists. All procedures have been painful and I find doctors and dentists condescending so I have to xanex myself up when I go in.

Let’s add the fact that I had slept maybe 8 hours total the previous week while home and had still not resolved any emotional issues with my Papa’s surgery…so I was a wreck. The most I could mentally retain was Star Magazine.

The next few days I recovered in my apartment with the help of Livia Scott and Stefan Lawrence. She took days, he had nights and weekends.

There is no question that Livia is one the greatest friends I have had in my life. She took super good care of me and brought me Teen Beat Magazine and mocked the Tyra show with me. Stefan, well there is no other man who would have been as kind to me as he was. He sat next to me on the couch the whole time and held my hand and brought me jello and watched more TV than I think he has ever watched in his life.

The great news is they are brave enough to do it again this weekend when I go in for round two of the surgery.

This wasn’t going to be a long post…I was just going to do a quick intro to something and then move on. Hell, there are much better stories from my hell weeks that are actually amusing, like my inability to think rationally and how that played out in everyday life and the crazy volunteer at the hospital who sent me in to delusional, hysterical fits. Maybe I will rally and get those down on paper.

In the mean time, while I was home, I found my old journals from High school. They are hilarious. I have started reading a week from the life of me at a few places in NYC as I think they prove to be good material. I thought it might also be fun to post them here…you know, each day you can come and read a few days from me and my teen age angst. So here we go…

This is the first entry in my diary for 1990. I was 15 years old, living in Tuscaloosa, AL.

Helen is my sister.

Grub is my white trash slang for making out.

I say Oh Well as if it were going out of style. Oh well!

Other than that, I have no recollection of who any of these people are.

Enjoy.


1/2/90

Well it’s a brand new year and I’ve decided to keep a journal/diary sort of thing. I suppose I should make some kind of resolutions.

1990
Relax, take it easy and slow down
Make an effort in all relationships
KEEP UP MY GRADES!!

Only 11 days till my B’day. I’m really excited about it. I’m gonna turn 16! I know there has to be some privileges with that. I’m hoping for it to be a real turn in my life. I hope this will be a better, stronger year for me. School starts tomorrow. Exams are only 3 weeks away. YUCK! I really want some big things to start happening I also want to have real good friends. I do already but I want more. I have Shellie, Alison, Laurie, Jon, & Kim. I’d like to be closer to Susan, Krista, Chris, Presley, Danny & Hilary. I’m very confused about Chris we, I guess “like” each other. I really need to straighten things out w/ him. I’m gonna call him tonight & I might as well right now.

1/3/90

Well its homeroom and hers whats happened so far. Oh yeah I didn’t tell Chris how I felt. Kim and Kevin broke up. WHOA. She dumped him. I found out once again that last year when he found the note that said I liked him he had liked me too. Oh well. I saw Nick he looks good. I’d still like to grub with him. Maybe! J well exams are closer than I thought so I have only two weeks to study tonight. I’m in a good mood today, actually yeah kind of a goofy mood. Blissfully happy! Oh well. I’m really confused about Chris, I don’t know how I feel. Hey Hueytown plays us in basketball tonight. I want to go just to see if anyone I know is there. I’d love to see Ted. I also have to go to the library. I hope my mom lets me go. I really hope Travis is sent into the hall during 5th period today. I’d love to flirt w/ him. I’d love even more to go out with him. AHG oh well. I’m getting very tired of Laurie. She’s really stepping on guys. Oh well, I guess she’ll learn the hard way. (I do not believe she ever learned the hard way and successfully dated very hot guys through out high school), It turns out Kim and Kevin really didn’t break up. They just told everyone to see if we’d care. I don’t understand this method of lying to see how a person feels. And I still don’t understand why Laurie has to get or pretend to be drunk in order to be attractive. What happened to being a lady??? I feel I’ve got to grow up. In a mature way. So I am. ?! J ? Well I’m very interested in everyone. Hey I’ll make a list here to get it in order Chris, Ram, Presley, Travis, Nate, Conner Guy!, Michael, Craig, Matt (to grub), Bobby, Rob R., Nick, Joe Patton, Joe Phiefer, Banks, Chris Hope, Marty, even John Oldshoe one of Helen’s friends. He’s a doll. Now if these guys had ever heard of DATING! My life would be soooo much easier. I really can’t wait till I get my license. Josh’s party is Friday. I’m excited. I want to go and have FUN J Hopefully grub with a guy. Especially one that Laurie likes. No No I can’t be mean. Hee hee I hope tomorrow is better. I really do!