"AM I DEAD, OR JUST EXTRA BORING TODAY?"

By Mark Knopfler
(Of Dire Straits fame.)

For some reason, a radio station - (a pretty good one) - in Portland, Oregon keeps playing my songs today as if I'm dead.
What's going on? Am I dead...or just that extra bit boring? Did I finally bore myself to death? Is that it? Because if that's it, then BRAVO!

Usually, (this is on a daily basis) I feel sofar-ay-WAY-from being remotely interesting. On a good day I call up Jackson Browne and Todd Rundgren to see if they want to hang out...which (given our combination of people) is a very bad idea if you're looking for good times. When the three of us get together, we're like the Three Musketeers! (If the Three Musketeers were three reading lamps.)


So why am I hearing my music today? And please, PLEASE don't tell me "Because it's brilliant" or "I love Dire Straits, so fuck you!" I know better. I write the songs that make the young girls sleep. I wrote scores of scores to films all set where? That's right. Usually all the movies that feature my music are all set in "sleepy little villages". I need a nap just thinking about!

So if you can tell me if I'm either dead or maybe it's just Boring Day in Oregon, write:
Princess Pony Party Amazing
Mark Knopfler Dead or Just Boring Sweepstakes
Catface, North Pole
USA

That's the way to do it.
Signed,
Mark KnopflerrZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz