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Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Friday, August 31, 2007

"'9 to 5' is for Phonies" - By Holden Caulfield

First of all, I want everyone to know right now that this movie is lousy with morons. If you're anything like me (which is to say kind of tall for your age), then run like hell. "9 to 5" is strictly for phonies. I knew a guy at Pencey - Ward Rosenthall - who would probably sell his own grandmother to a bull fight to sit through this crap. He would. He would sit there thinking it was a swell time and all and probably repeat every third line just to hear the sound of his own voice. Ward Rosenthall was in love with his voice. He would sometimes poke his head in the door of a bus that stopped just to ask the driver a question just so that everyone on the bus would goddamn swoon. "How might one get to Hawthorne?" It was corny. Anyway, I bet old Ward would be sitting there watching "9 to 5" with his goons in tow, all laughing like hyenas and holding their breath waiting for Ward to say something witty about Dolly Parton and I bet his babe from St. Bernadettes would sit there bored as hell wishing she were ringing in the New Year with Sebastian Bach on a yacht or something. His babe from St. Bernadette's used to kill me sometimes, I swear. He was a baboon, but she was okay. She was practically the only girl who I ever met who hated horses. Girls usually go mad with joy whenever they see a horse. They go: "Horse!" and point at it and everything, but not old Suzette from St. Bernadette's. She'd make up a joke about glue. She knocked me out.

So "9 to 5" is basically about a bunch of dames who hate working so they try to kill their boss.
Don't go see it, unless you want to puke all over yourself.

J. Caulfield.

2 Comments:

At 8:16 PM, Anonymous Your Husband said...

Quick Jordi, write a book!

I love you so very much.

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger Stefan said...

Fucking brilliant.

 

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