It is with the greatest pleasure that I introduce to you...
Evangeline Georgia Princess Pony Party Amazing Douglass!
Born July 27th, 2008 @ 10:43am
18 1/2" Long
I mean give me a break...this is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Usually, they come out all gross and squishy, but she is perfect!
Jordi is healthy and happy and Ted has not vomited or fainted once. Of course he has the rest of his life to vomit and pass out regarding Evangeline...like when she tells them that she doesn't care that "Big Stinky" (her scuzzy, patchy moustached, unemployed, lead singer of the never to be famous band "Pussy Garage") is 10 years older than she is...she is going to move into his trailer and "you can't stop me Dad!"
I think Ted will puke and then faint...falling face first into the puke.
Biz's list of other moments in Evangeline's life that may make Ted Vomit and then Faint:
5. Evangeline announces that Carrot Top is a comedic genius.
4. Teenage fashion becomes more and more skimpy and on her first day of high school, Ted looks up from the kitchen table to discover Evangeline wearing, what is essentially, 12 well placed bandaids.
3. She says she doesn't understand "what the big deal is with Star Wars."
2. She becomes a member of an all-girl comedy team, who think that making out with each other and calling each other whores is comedy gold. (well...it is what TV deems funny...so he might just puke, pass out, then enjoy the new car Evangeline buys him.)
1. She announces that she is going to marry Bryan Shukoff.
I can't tell you how proud and excited I am for my PrincessPonyParty Partner. She is going to be the best Mama ever. I know how special this baby was from her inception. Jordi is patient, kind, smart as a whip, clever and has such a wonderful sense of humor. There are no better qualities for a Mama.
Welcome Evangeline. Get ready to have the heck loved out of you by your amazing parents, your extended "sketch family," and of course...Auntie Biz.
I am already working on her first mix tape.
Great job making a person you guys!