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Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Biz and Stefan Vacation!


Hi PPPAers!

Guess who went on vacation?

This Guy! And...

This girl! Guess who loves map quest? ITS ME!


So we are off on our adventure, departing from Portland, OR, where we were perfroming at The Best of the Best Sketchfest (after a 25 hour flight from NY - Portland....but that is another story). While out on the West Coast, Stefan and I decided we would like to take a vaction in the area...rent a cabin, commune with nature, hang out completely isolated from the ways of man, where a hot tub was available, and try to relax from the stress of work and the world. So we found a place about an hour outside of Seattle, up in the mountains...and here is our exciting trip as told through pictures...which in retrospect, wasn't the most detailed photo journal it could have been.

So we are off! After a good breakfast and about 2 hours on the road we came upon...an Indian Casino!

How authentically "indian." Look! Stefan and I are really getting into the spirit of things!

In the words of our friends Hoskins and Breen, " Hi-how-are-you! Hi-how-are-you!"

I learned this dance when I was named Princess Winnataska on Indian Night at the Native American themed Christian camp I spent 16 summers at in rural Alabama. Instead of clapping, we said "how, how, how." CHARMING

It looks like the only person to do well on our slot machine adventure was...NERD BOT! Wave those vouchers high!

(sorry, forgot to turn this picture over..and too lazy to do so now. Just bask in Nerd Bot's glory)

Back on the road, and whats this? A deserted fireworks shanty town?

"Nerd Bot, I am glad we could stop here and talk. I think Stefan is falling in love with you."

DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH NERD BOT STEFAN!

"Let's just get back on the road!"

Ahhhh, look at that! That does not suck! That is the view from our cabin! We made it! We are back to nature! Pay no attention to the powerlines!

And we are at our cabin...that we dodn't take a picture of, but here is the SIGN for the cabin in the front yard. Its called "Sunset Falls" and is right on the falls, which we also didn't take pictures of....but we took pictures of plenty of other stuff...that is totally irrelevant!

Like this one of Nerd Bot. "Nerd Bot, you are KING of the groceries and master of the Special K!"

A HOT TUB! This vacation is looking like it will be great!

You guys just chill out, while I go get in my swim suit...let five days of hanging in the hot tub begin!

UH OH! Whats wrong Biz?

"I hurt my toe! I jammed it into the ledge over there and it really hurts!

But lets don't panic, I am sure that if we just wrap it up it will be fine, right? Lets just have a nice dinner and some wine and relax and everything will be great in the morning.

THE NEXT MORNING

GAH! That is nasty! NASTY! We need to go to the hospital. (Thank you, me, for never fully committing to the comedy / theatre lifestyle and having a job with great insurance.) TO THE HOSPITAL!

OK, boo to the hospital. This vacation isn't going so well. My foot is killing me and I hate hospitals but with Stefan with me, I bet it will be allright.

Hey here is a helpful chart for me to express to the doctor clearly what my pain level is.

Well, I am not a zero! I think I am more of a ten! Oh god! A tetanus shot! Here is a face they didn't have on their chart!

That pain seems serious, lets get you an x-ray Biz!

This is not my idea of a great vacation!

As I was wheeled back to my room, we passed a sign from a former patient that made me feel better about my screaming and yelling everytime they touched my toe.

The sign below reads..."Thanks for putting up with me and I'm sorry I swore so much." Then there is a drawing of a fairy. Charming.

My swearing got me a giant shot to numb my foot for two days. IT HURT!!!!

"You'll be ok Biz" says Stefan. "I love you and you were VERY brave and so well versed in your 'swears." I know someone who is getting a treat when we leave the hospital!"

Then lets get out of here!

I don't think the wheel chair was nececessary, but I DO like people to do my walking for me. Its so rare that I can be so lazy.

"So what is the treat Stefan?"

ICE CREAM!

Don't you look dashing, Stefan? Thank you for the awesome ice cream and holding my hand at the hospital. Lets head back home and think about what we can do now that i have this "broken" toe. We could...wait! Whats that sign up ahead. The one with the super friendly bear waving and the arrow pointing to what looks like a great time!?

Someplace we should't go. Even though that bear is saying come on in, those other signs say "Stay out! Private property! No Trespassing! Get away or we will kill you."

That is a very misleading bear.

Ah, back at the cabin with a breathtaking view. I may not be able to do all the outdoor activities we planned on, but I bet we will have lost of adventures when we wake up tomorrow.

THE NEXT DAY

Good Morning Stefan!

I take it that means you are ready for a big day! But where is Nerd Bot?

There he is!

All alone? (Well you can't have Stefan, so don't even....) I mean, "Here I am!"

Presto!

I know! Why don't we go to that creepy reptile zoo that we saw back on the old mountian road we took to get here? What do you think Stefan?

"Let's do this."

This doesn't look so bad! Right Nerd Bot?

Well, that is a snake. No surprise there.

An Alligator. Ok.

What the? Ladies and gentlemen, this is not MAN'S fault, but Gods. (guh)

First Nerd Bot and now this...jesus yikes, whatever it is, its falling in love with Stefan! Maybe if I charm Stefan with my toleration of snakes.

TA DAAAAA!

Wait! Now that snake is falling for Stefan! I can't compete with a snake!

I guess we should head back to the cabin and get some rest and get ready for our next adventure...A FERRY RIDE

All aboard! Eye, eye Stefan!

Look Out! FOG! I hope nothing horrible is waiting on the other side of that fog as we head towards Friday Harbor!

CRABS! What will we do?

Ah! Eat them with a lemon butter sauce. What a sound idea, Biz. But do you have to be so SAVAGE?!

Why can't you be more sedate like Stefan with his....OH NO! A BLOODY Mary! You brute!!

And now let us end our adventure by pointing out all of the "cute" titles that the great North West grants its portable restrooms...or movable crappers if you will. Ladies and gentlemen, The Wizard of Ooze. Gross.

Well Nerd Bot, did you have a good time....TRYING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH MY MAN! Oh, look, you found a friend! GREAT! You guys look fantastic together.

What a great vacation. YAY!

5 Comments:

At 3:00 PM, Blogger Biz and/or Jordi said...

Shit! You're the bravest! You didn't mention that you & Stefan both HELD THE SNAKES! Oh my god! I'm impressed and terrified.
-Jord.

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger Biz and/or Jordi said...

CRIKEY!

 
At 7:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got a blood toe in NYC almost as cool as Biz's.

-jason

 
At 10:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

toughen up sugar tit!

 
At 4:18 PM, Blogger John said...

That was too funny!

 

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