Tom Brokaw Diary, excerpt 3

Dear Diary,

Today I won the Peabody award…for sexiness. Ha ha ha…I wish, Diary. Ahhhh, Dairy, I should retire soon, but what would I do with my time? Maybe I could use my investigative skills to seek out the truth on certain issues. I have always wondered what happened to Mayor McCheese. He was such a good man slash burger…I guess making him a “burgerman.” You know he was a prominent figure back in the 70’s, hell he was Mayor McCheese, the leader of McDonaldland, but all of a sudden he has disappeared from the spotlight and yet there has been no word or an election process or any other event that would explain his disappearance. When the sun went missing from Mcdonaldland because someone was frowning, the town practically shut down in order to find the missing sun, yet Mayor McCheese hasn’t been heard from in over 20 years and no one gives a damn! Well, I, Tom Brokaw give a damn! First thing tomorrow morning I am going to get to the bottom of this. Hold on Diary, I have to pee. Ok, I am back, where was I, oh yeah, Mayor McCheese…eh…it doesn’t seem so important now. Oh, well goodnight Diary.