Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Beware of all Would Be Attackers, Including Breast Cancer

I kid you not PPPAers. Help fight breast cancer with maximum strength pepper in breast cancer pink!

Let me start with saying that I am all about fighting breast cancer and I am a HUGE advocate of pepper spray.

Hilarious side story. I was living in Atlanta and I had my pepper spray and I had a male friend over helping me move. He was not the brightest bulb in the box and at one point he picked up the pepper spray and said (I kid you not) "how does this work" and while pointing it at himself to get a better look, he sprayed his face. FYI pepper spray works.

Ok, back to the post...while I love fighting breast cancer and love spraying bad guys in the face, I am a little amused by the uniting of the two.

Let's start with the description:
"The Quick Release with detachable keychain allows immediate access to your defense spray when unlocking a door or driving an automobile."

Look I know they mean if someone attacks you while you are opening you door, but it sounds more like they are suggesting you spray down the car.

And here are the features (yes, they say "features"):

  • Help fight breast cancer
  • Sabre Red Formula - Maximum strength pepper spray
  • Detachable keyring with quick release
  • .54 oz Key Ring
  • Projects 8 to 10 Feet
  • Ballistic Stream Delivery - Reduces Wind Blow-Back
  • Contains Approximately 25 Shots
I really only want to focus on the first bullet point. It makes me smile to think that every time I gas some asshole in the face I am kicking breast cancers ass.

I really wish it said something like "Debilitate your attacker just like Breast Cancer debilitates thousands of women each day!"

In fine print on the packaging it says: 
"State laws prohibit us from shipping this pepper spray model to AK, HI, MA, or NY"
"however, State laws do not prohibit Breast Cancer from AK, HI, MA, or NY."(no, it didn't say that.)

This of course reminds me of my good friends, Kasper Hauser, who wrote SkyMaul a few years back which included this little beauty.

I love those guys.

The great news, is if you are looking for a way to support the fight against breast cancer, you can buy this pink pepper spray and SABRE (whose motto is "making grown men cry since 1975") will make a donation to NBCF.

Ok, here is the link, you know you want to check it out...and please don't miss the "Home Defense Pepper Spray Fogger for Family, Property, Home Protection" at the bottom of the page. (There are a lot of things wrong with that concept.)

I love this website and I love Martha for sending me this. I am not even going to question why you were on the site to begin with...I am going to make it my home page now.

xoxo, Biz


At 2:55 PM, Blogger Baz said...

this is hands down the funniest mom blog ever.

i miss both of you.


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