I need that Seventeen and YM 1990 February horoscope to come true!

OK, this is a very special dairy entry. By very special, I mean, VERY PAINFUL. I am going to share Feb 6th (which actually is the next entry…I just didn’t write for a week) and then skip right to Feb, 14th…Valentines Day.

The 6th is a nice taste of classic Biz (why can’t I be loved, lots of “oh wells”) with foreshadowing to the 14th, which is the ultimate in teenage V’day horror stories.

The days in-between are the usual, “I need a boy to validate me” and the onslaught of the names of boys I like.

Good to know that at our school on V’day, we did the balloons, that you could pre order to be delivered to your sweetie on the 14th. It was a good fundraiser for the SGA and I was part of the team who delivered them. Red was for love, White is for friends and pink is for secret admirer.

I also use the word crapping in a weird way. Plus I misspell it.

Enjoy.

2/6
Oh well. So far life’s ok. I was gonna ask Presley to see “The Byrds” at the Landing with me on Friday but we’d only get to see them from 9-10 and everyone’s parents (including his) would be there. Total sadness (insert sad face). I want to go out with someone so badly. I’m gonna die. Someone who’ll be sweet to me. Won’t make fun of me or hurt me. Just so I could have someone special on Valentine’s Day. He’d send me a balloon or something. (insert smiley face) I’d love it. Even if it was a freshman. Soph’s: Joe (taken), Rosh (taken), Jeffrey (?), Craig (taken), Marty (?), Chris H (?), Trent (?) I’m so confused! I need someone to sweep me off my feet. I need that Seventeen and YM 1990 February horoscope to come true! Maybe I could meet a junior like John Houge and go out with him. Pant pant. AHG! Everyone is craping me with “why don’t you ever call?” making me feel like I am blowing them off. Why is it me. Why is it not them blowing me off? Oh my phone is ringing off the hook. Oh well. Tough. I’m only doing stuff that makes me happy. Oh well.

2/14/90
Well all I can say is I feel like shit. The beginning of the day was super fun. Joe, Jeff, Rosh, Brian, Ram, and all the other guys picked up my car and moved it. Mary D and I decorated Joe’s car with stickers. 1st was fun. 2nd period too, delivering balloons. 3rd was fun too. After lunch Chris H. gave me a balloon saying it was for me. It was a secret admirer balloon. I was so happy. Really happy. I showed it to Mary, Emo, Suas, Alison, Chris A. Rosh, everyone! I was so happy, then I found out it was Emo just playing a joke. I wanted to cry so hard. I found out from Mary and Susan right after I had bounced all around Emo. I felt so stupid. All these people knew it was a joke and I was so happy. It hurts so bad. I’m not mad at Emo, just confused. Plus I really like Rosh. He called me Friday then Monday it was great, then Tuesday sucked and same today. He either thinks Susan and I are going to set him up or he thinks Susan is trying to set me up with him. I just want to go out with him so badly. I really do. I fucked it up probably. I showed him the stupid secret admirer balloon. I’m so stupid. No one likes me! Why not? I don’t understand that at all! Turns out Susan told Rosh I DIDN’T like him so he wouldn’t think that. GREAT! Oh well.