Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, May 03, 2007


Remember the last post? I thought it would be hilarious to write fake Lifetime movie ideas? A few starring Jack Wagner and Judith Light? And Tracy Gold?

As it turns out, the three of them did a Lifetime Network movie together called Lady Killer (see above suspenseful poster.)

It's not really that suprising, except for that earlier today I came across this while flipping channels. I posted the Lifetime ideas on Tuesday. ("Whaaaaaat?")

Jack Wagner plays a high-powered plastic surgeon and an architect; in every scene he's having a glass of wine, looking at blueprints and listening to shitty Enigma-type music in his Success Loft. It hurt my eyes and ears the whole time. There's murder and betrayal and if every scene wasn't filmed in British Columbia then I don't know where the fuck they filmed it. The last shot was Judith Light holding her wounded husband who was shot in the snow, while Tracy Gold runs off to get help. The camera pans over to Dead Jack Wagner (who was pushed off of a lighthouse by Judith Light moments before), then pans over to the horizon where the ice meets the sky. I had to watch the whole thing and boy am I glad to tell you that. No, no one forced me.

I forgot: at one point, Jack Wagner and Judith Light's heads grow to be 4,000 feet tall and kill people with their eyes in a forest.

(see above suspenseful poster.)


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