Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

No Jacket Required....(for Baby Stealing!)

Lifetime Channel movie ideas using only Phil Collins songs. Ready?

("Hold o-ohn / Hold on....")
1. 'Separate Lives'
A high powered Vancouver BC lawyer ('thirtysomething's Ken Olin) drunk on all the lawyer power and suit wearing decides to marry two women: a kindergarten teacher (Yasmeen Bleeth) and an old kindergarten teacher (Jill Eikenberry.) Living 'Separate Lives', he decieves both - ending in betrayal, murder, lies and crying. The last shot is a close-up of a single red rose on a grand piano, a string of pearls, a flute of champange, a saxophone and tears and blood on all of these items (while police lights reflect). Don't ask me why. All I know is that's how it ends.
2. 'Sussudio'
A high powered Vancouver BC perfume executive (Jack Wagner) decides to put his latest perfume launch on hold when a sexy stranger dressed in red (Yasmeen Bleeth) gives him the formula for 'Sussudio' - a perfume for grandpas. The perfume is proven successful, until the scent takes over the town (which means that grandpas take over the town), there's murder and betrayal and the last shot is a close-up of an empty bottle of 'Sussudio' and a dead old man holding a single red rose. And it's raining (while police lights reflect).
3. 'Playing for Keeps'
High powered Vancouver BC architect (James Brolin) has eyes only for his tiny wife (Tracy Gold). She meets a tennis instructor (Matt Lantanzi) and they run off together. 'Playing for Keeps', it is then that (James Brolin's) eyes turn to hate, as he chases the couple in a game of cross country murder. The last shot is a close up of a tennis raquet, cashmere sweater, pearls, a single red rose, blood and a framed photo of James Brolin and Tracy Gold in happier times (while police lights reflect).

4. 'Take Me Home'
A college student at Vancouver BC University (Robin Givens) is pregnant by a date-raper (James Wilder) and has a choice to make as she nears the birth and graduation. Turning to a teacher for help (Judith Light) the student starts having nightmares about her baby being stolen by Melissa Gilbert and Tracy Gold dressed in robes. Her nightmares are proven true as Melissa Gilbert and Tracy Gold steal the baby and eat it. The last shot is Robin Givens binge drinking in the library followed by a close-up of a dinosaur.



At 3:04 PM, Blogger Biz and/or Jordi said...

hoy crap this is hilarious!


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