Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Guess who went to a pumpkin patch?

This kid.

The saddest kid in the world.

This past weekend we went off to a real pumpkin patch on a real farm that I learned about on a real website that never mentions how much they are going to GOUGE you for money.

"The Harvest Festival is free!" To get in to. Once there, everything takes a ticket and the ticket pricing is outrageous. Train ride? 
$4 per ticket per person. 
Want to play in the toddler area which has a mini maze a jumper and some of those "stick your head here for a photo op. You're a farmer!" stands. $10 per person. So as a parent I get to pay $10 to stand around? Meaning if Stefan and I both wanted to take her in it would have been $30 total?
Petting Zoo? $5 per person. Pony Ride? $5 per person. 
That means if I want to take my child into the petting zoo...I gotta pay $5 to watch her step in rabbit shit.

Anyway, here is what you came to see.


Long pumpkins!

These pumpkins!

Here is Katy Belle with her "smile." This is what you get when you have a group of people asking her to "smile" over and over again. Looks about right.
 Quick note on petting zoos. I think these are depressing. I guess Katy Belle has fun but none of the animals look like they are having a good time. I am lucky. I have a gentle kid.

Now for what I really wanted to show you.

Good bye sleep. Forever. 

All over the farm were these...

Just slowly walk away and...


To be honest, I don't think these were the worst. The worst we found while waiting on the $15 train ride around the farm.

We are just sitting on some haystacks... 

....and Stefan says "look over there." 

It is the pig that is really terrifying. The long, broken, arcing neck. Unsettling.

Lets just go on the farm tour, filled with...

 More scarecrows.

 We did not take enough photos to truly capture how many of these masked scarecrows were all over the place. I get it. Halloween. They are scarecrows after all and it certainly didn't seem to bother Katy Belle or really anyone which is why it seemed all the more sinister.

See in my mind...each scarecrow had a real person inside, who had been kidnapped and tortured and now was one of hundreds of alive victims, bound and gagged inside each of these, able to see out, but unable to signal for help. Every night, they are pulled down and tossed in pile, drug back to the torture house where they eat who ever didn't make it and then the next morning they are dressed and put back out for more people to walk past and ignore. Right out in the open.


Think about it.

Silent scream.



At 7:17 PM, Anonymous Adam said...

The brunette mask with the weird eyes looks like Karen Black...whom I haven't seen in years, come to think of it. Happy Halloween!


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