Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Charlie Bucket Could've Gotten In There...

(Part Two of Probably Uneccessary Rant Against Naomi Watts To Come Later...)

Until then - this was inspired by today's entry in the Elephnat Larry blog (by the always intriguing and cosmopolitain Chris Principe) about the Hershey's site.

The original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" was on the other night - and even though I've seen it a billion times, I get sucked in...but I also get mad at the same part:

Ever since I first saw it as a child, I always wondered the same thing: if all the kids at the candy shop after school weren't paying for their candy during "The Candyman" frenzy, then why could'nt Charlie get in there? It would've been so easy. While the Candy Perv sings, he literally rains gumdrops on the kids, chucks candy bars at them, makes them lemon sodas from a fountain, pulls taffy ropes and hurls them all over the place, while the children all rabidly chew on everything. He finally lets them run behind the counter where they diminish more invetory...unaccounted for! Meanwhile, My Dear Boy Charlie Bucket has his gaunt face pressed against the window as if witnessing something he could never be a part of.

I know it's stupid, and I know the story would make no sense, and I know that if Charlie did that, he wouldn't be Charlie Bucket, The Sweetest Boy In The Whole World...but STILL. To this day. I get so frustrated...

This time I threw one of my dog's toys at the screen and yelled: "Jesus Charlie!".


At 7:21 PM, Anonymous stuporfly said...

The gumdrops and other candy the Candyman is spraying all over the room isn't candy at all. It's his pervy man jam.

Charlie is so emotionally crippled by what he saw and his inability to do anything about it that he imagined the whole sordid thing was as pure as the driven snow.

He wasn't bummed out that he didn't have any candy. He was bummed out because all the other children got a jizz bath from the town pederast while he stood frozen and let it happen.

Feel better now?


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