Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Are you here to trick or treat?


Seriously, so before I get it, I need to tell you about our EPIC HALLOWEEN!

Guess who still enjoys scaring the crap out of children?

This Guy!

Holy ape-nuts. That is disturbing.

And this girl!

Wait, wait, wait. Before we get into this, why don't you take a trip down EPIC Halloween Lane and check out the previous years. Also, if you make it to the end there is an awesome Katy Belle palate cleanser.

Year one - the year we came up with the idea to mess with people 10 minutes before we actually did it.

Year two: Madame Bizella raises her zombie slave to give you candy!

Year Three: Doctor Hurtsinside needs your help to get all this candy out of our patient...STAT!

Year Four: My brother was naughty and wouldn't share his candy. I had to punish him. Do you want to have his candy with me?

Year Five: Who wants to watch Stefan fry in Old Smokey? 

Year Six: Are you brave enough to help me explore the tomb of the Pharaoh Stefankamen?

Year Seven: Oh wait! That is this year! The year of the CANDY EATING ZOMBIES OF PASADENA!

I can honestly say we were a bit worried about this year. New city, new house. Would people be trick or treating on our street? Would this be the year Stefan got punched in the face by someone who didn't like being scared? Fears aside, we moved forward.

First you need to board up your house from candy zombies with some very strong cardboard painted to look like wood.

This means lots of staples boxes. Little known fact, zombies hate office supplies. You're welcome.

Next you need to not even try to pretend you trust your husband with a staple gun.

Then you need to make some signs that will warn passers by. These need to be clear and concise.


Next, some caution tape.  

Add your police scanner for sound effects.

A little zombie make up here. A few open wounds there.

Blood on the zombie killer.

Finally, make sure your zombies have had Dominos so that they can really feel the sickness inside.

Now lets go give people nightmares and candy.

 Seriously, that is awful.

What made this year fun was we really had room. For the previous 6 years we were limited to a very small stoop in front of a brownstone in Brooklyn. Side note, Patrick Stewart just moved in down the street from our old place and we could have been doing this for Patrick Stewart!!!!! Make it so number one. Make it so.

Anyway, this year, zombies hid in bushes and when trick or treaters came along, I would run off the porch yelling "Are you here to trick or treat? You better hurry! There are candy eating zombies everywhere and they want your candy! Take it! TAKE ALL OF IT AND RUN!!!"

Enter zombies.

I throw candy at them. 

Trick or treaters scream.

All is well with the world.

Shall we? Lets.

Please meet your candy eating zombies.

We have Missouri loving Josh who, despite having a rough go of it in the SEC this year, was one heck of a terrifying zombie with a preference for tootsie pops.

 Kevin, lover of all things Butterfinger and Twix. (No SEC preference despite being from Tennessee.)

And of course, the love of my life...Stefan, who got what Katy Belle had 2 days ago and now is laying in bed looking about like he does here. 

You: Biz. Are there any trick or treaters in your Halloween experience?

Me: Oh, yes. How about these guys?

 And these guys?

I love this guy. This is after the zombies were retreating.

Just stand and stare. 

Here is where the trick or treaters don't take what I am saying seriously.... 

 ...and here they are running for their lives.

We had two sexy, nurse, teenagers walk up (sorry, no photo) and the joy of all the new space is that Stefan was able to chase them, screaming, down the street. So awesome.

This was one of our little ones. She was great. Once she saw you could pelt a zombie with candy she was in....except I had to keep her from throwing HER bag of candy. 

Surprisingly, it just takes one flavored tootsie roll to take a zombie out. 

Once again, I am surprised at how well kids handle things that are horrifying. 

I gotta say the video is pretty bad. We just never have enough light, but here is one where the group walked up while the zombies were out so it was this amazing chaotic din of trick or treaters and zombies all going at full force all at once. The first 30 seconds are just the screams of children.

Oh man. AWESOME! 

We got this weird group of boys who were not quite teens but not still tweens who literally rode up the driveway on their bikes. I am not sure what they thought was going to happen but we scared at least 3 of them and then there was this one who was "so cool he could not be scared."

I asked him if their costumes were the paper boys from Better Off Dead. "I want my two dollars!"

They did not get the reference.

They did however say that our zombies were better than the Knott's Berry Farm zombies which was a big score since our zombies are all theme park designers. How California.

My Mama is in town and she hid in the bushes with the zombies. She then tried to take her Hilton shuttle back to her hotel but the zombies were having no part of it.

 "ZOMBIES! Let my mother ride in her Hilton shuttle in peace!"

"wha ruuuhhh ruh?" 

Translation "Hershey or Mr Goodbar?"

This is our upstairs neighbor, Eli. He was a scantron test. I LOVE THIS KID!!!

Hey Zombies!


What is the meaning of life?

Stupid zombies. 

The answer is candy and wine and a one eyed cat walking all over you. 

It was a very good time and about like Brooklyn in terms of numbers. This is one of the many things that I love about my life with Stefan. I love that we have this and I love that we will always do this. A big thanks to Kevin, Josh, and Annette who were awesome as zombies and photographers.

And now, what you have really been waiting for. Katy Belle, the googly eyed monster shows you what a googly eyed monster sounds like.


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