Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Guess who went to ComicCon?

This Girl!

Oh was sweeeeeeet and i definately got my nerd on.

I kicked it off by watching Elephant Larry perform at the comedy showcase, live from the "JEDI STAGE." Yes...JEDI STAGE.
Who is Elephant Larry? Its these Nerds: using your best Ogre, from Revenge of the Nerds voice, lets check out EL in action.


Now, get ready for what happens next. After EL closed down the comedy show, the Jedis were going to perform. But before they did...a Jedi (in a sweatshirt...which was not very "Jedi" of him) came out and asked for this woman (lets call here Lisa) to come on stage. So up Lisa goes.

I know where this is you?

So Lisa (who i believe knows the Jedis) is standing there awkwardly on the stage while the sweatshirt Jedi is saying, "we have Lisa on the stage. Is there someone who wants to speak with Lisa?"

Suddenly on to the stage comes another Jedi...who again, didn't look like a Jedi to me, but what do I know about Jedis, and...can you guess it?

Do Jedis get engaged? Is this the plural of Jedis?

Well, hold on to your hats nerd lovers....cause here come ALL THE JEDIS to create the ARCH OF SABERS...Light Sabers that is.

And then that turns into some sort of massive Light Saber high five...again...who knew high fiving was a Jedi thing.

At this point I was on cloud nine in my personal geek heaven, so I grabbed my nerd and we were off.

My Nerd:

This is Stefan standing in front of the gaming area. No not the Sony, WII, etc gaming area on level one....this is the dice rolling, "You've got you dragon in my dungeon! You've got your Dungeon in my dragon!" gaming area that took up pretty much an entire floor of the NYC Javits Center.

We did not play...we just looked on in awe.

And now for pictures of me with people in costumes!!!!

This is me with the Blue Beetle! AWESOME!

If you look, you can see the Flash and a kind of sad Super Girl behind us.

You might also note that my face looks like this.... every picture.

Here I am with Who I am going to guess are the Kingdom Come versions of Aquaman and Superman.

Yes, I said Kingdom Come. NEEERRRRRRDDDD!
Here is a fat Skeletor.

Here I am with Transformer Soundwave...who can turn intoa boombox. RAD!


And here is one of my favorites...a 6'1 Jawa. If you are a nerd, you know why this is funny. He may also be trying to cop a feel.

So I bought a bunch of comic books and looked at a ton of toys and finally gave in a bought an original ink page (is that what you even call it?) by comic book inker / illustrator / artist Stephen Sadowski. When i got into comic books last year (you should see the book shelf now) I started off with the JSA and really liked the characters and of course that led me into obsessing with the entire DC world. You see i like a series and well, if you read one story, it can lead you to another and then suddenly I am reading the TeenTitans and they start in with The Oustider..well now I gotta read The can see how the innocent reading of a few comic trades spiraled out of control for me.

Anyway, the point is, Stephen's work is the work i saw first and really liked and he had one of his pages featuring Black Canary...and I know the fans of Princess Pony Party Amazing remember my love for Black Canary.

And so I bought this.....

Its Black Canary running from the shadow people created by Obsidian, and she is saying to herself "Run. Ignore that piece of glass cutting into your side." (Or something like that...i don't have it in front of me.) The point is....thats SO ME! I am always telling my self that. Run...meaning keep going, don't slow down, you have so many expectations to meet!...and the glass is my job, or the people on the subway, or my college loans or pretty much anything i come across on a daily know, my bitterness.

Duh!And now to wrap up...when we were leaving we passed this window where someone had drawn a dick.

Go ComicCon!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Tom Brokaw Diaries 7 - 9

Dear Dairy, I bet that if I had to arm wrestle David Letterman I would kick his ass. He may rule the late night airwaves, but he is no match for these guns! I have been working out. My biceps are pumped and my triceps are booming! I feel like kicking someone’s ass just to prove I can do it! I wonder if I would get arrested for beating someone up. Let’s say I kicked that asshole from the deli’s ass. God he deserves it Diary. I mean, what part of hold the mayo does he not understand. Anyway, let’s say I kick his ass. I’m Tom Brokaw, right? I mean, surely the police would believe me if I said he started it. It’s not my fault my muscles finished it. I am hungry. I am going to the deli to get sandwich and a six-pack of whoop ass.

Guess who is on YouTube Dairy? Me. Getting hit in the balls by my nephew. It’s been viewed over 3 million times. I don’t think that many people voted in the last election. Is this what the world is coming to Dairy? ANSWER ME! Sorry Diary. I didn’t mean to yell. My balls and my pride hurt.

Dear Diary, It’s me again, Tom Brokaw. Ha ha, I guess it will always be me, won’t it Diary. Sometimes I imagine that you are real Diary. That you are a beautiful woman, with fiery red hair, knowing blue eyes, and a rocking bod. We would lay in my bed, surrounded by candles, our naked bodies glistening in the dancing flames, and I would share my inner most thoughts with you as you ran your fingers across my rippled chest. I would hesitate as I tried to tell you the one thing I have never told a living soul. You would laugh…a laugh that if tangible would resemble your tender hands brushing away a truant hair….and you would say “Silly Thomas, there is nothing you can’t tell me. I know you better than you know yourself!” We both laugh. I pull you closer. I tell you that my darkest secret is that when I was 8 years old, I took a poop behind the sofa…out of pure laziness, and then blamed it on the dog. GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST DIARY! You kiss me and we make sweet love. When we are finished I stuff you back under my mattress, content with the knowledge that you are my secret, my safe haven, my dearest Diary.



So here is a video of me that Livia and I shot a while back. It was part two of the "I am Such a Good Person Video" but never made it out.

Here is the Good Person one if you want.

I find it funny and think it works on its own. It really is INCREDIBLE!!!!!

Monday, February 19, 2007


Are you a dick? Don't know if you are or which one?
Find out with our Gallery of Dicks!

1. Noah's Dicks
Some dicks go Two-byTwo. And here they are. Just waiting for you to check into the hotel room next to theirs so that they can ask sweetly for a morning paper at the front desk...and just as they turn to walk away, they'll say: "I don't know if it's you I talk to about this, but I think the people next door to us might be potheads. You might want to look into that. Or we may go elsewhere". This is from when you brought back some Italian food and the scent of oregano filled the hall. Only a fucking moron dick would make that mistake.

2. Abercrombie J. Crewdicks
"After the sailboat regatta, we're going to play rugby while having a snowball fight".
Okay dicks. Whatever you say. Just know that,'re dicks.

3. "VEGA$ BABY!" Date Rapers
I can't even begin to say what I hate about these types of dicks the most. I just really hope that one day they get painful diarrhea on a plane. In front of a girl. And not the regular girl who hangs out with them and they treat like crap and they throw poker chips at her and they think it's funny, but another girl who hasn't seen them with diarrhea before. Like a shiny girl who works at a dentist office. That's all.

4. "The Classy Abuser" (This perfect term was coined by Biz Ellis and Livia Scott)
This is the guy who tells you in a subtle way (at first) what exactly is wrong with the way you wear a belt and then when you say: "But I like to wear it like this", he puts his hands together like so (above) and says gently: "Oh. I see. You know more than I do. I see. You know what darling, I don't think that **Alexander Graham Bell would wear it that way. Do you? Do you? I don't think he would like to accentuate what you're so sensitive about. I'm talking about tyour hips, darling. But if you really think it looks good, well....then....well. I guess I can't teach you class." And then when he takes you to the opera, he tries to shut you up when you stand up to sing 'Voices Carry' really loudly from the balcony. Dick.
(** Or whomever the fuck invented belts.)

5. Animals
Look around. Sometimes the animal kingdom is full of dicks: saltwater crocodiles, poodles, king cobras, cats that hate, great white sharks, spiders, elephants that charge, racoons that give you rabies, Alexander Graham Bell....shall I go on?

6. Babies
No one wants to admit that their baby at times is a dick. Think about it. If your roommate deprived you of sleep, tried drinking from your boobs everytime you walked by, threw up on you and screamed and cried every 45 minutes and didn't even apologize, then that roommate would be a dick. Babies are like tiny mean drunks. They can be dicks.

7. Steely Dan
Are they dicks because I can't help but like their music or because at 100 years old they're still waxing poetic about underage girls and coccaine and still getting away with it? I hate Steely Dan because whenever I hear them, I find it comforting. It doesn't get much more 'Adult Contemporary' than Steely Dan. They lull me back into the nights when I knew my parents were going out because: 1. the house reeked of Opium (my mother's favorite perfume) and 2. Steely Dan was on the hi-fi. Their music today makes me want to fall asleep on all the coats in the guestroom. But that's a whole other story. Fuck you Steely Dan. For making me still love you. You dicks.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

'GREASE' is the WORD!

Hey! Let's take a look at Community College productions of 'Grease' from around the nation and world!
1. Straight up 'Grease'

It's cool. It's safe. It does the job. Beacon Community College knows how to get in the quintissential 'Grease' poses, and it looks like it can deliver. This was probably a very delightful evening at the theatre. Good job, Beacon CC.

2. Bonding 'Grease'

This was the young cast that decided: "I'm away from home. I think I'm going to fuck some people". Let me tell you what happened the night of the second read through at Flemington Raritan Community College; the Danny and Sandy kept talking about how much they needed to blow off some steam from finals: "And with this show coming up! Wow. You know? I think I'm going to go out and have a drink after rehearsal". From there the Rizzo and Kenickie joined them. Then they had a lot of sex and hungover rehearsals and ended up not hating each other by any means but just not caring after a while. The end.

3. & 4. Big 'Grease' vs. Little 'Grease'

Not much to say. All hoods young and old loved wearing black in the fifties. I am SO suprised though, that no one is wearing sunglasses. How am I supposed to tell who the cool one is?

5. Kid 'Grease'

This is just adorable. You heard me. This is the 'Grease' I'd have a blast watching. It's like the time I saw a grade school 'Fame' with an asian Leroy, and it stole my heart.

6. Whore 'Grease'

This 'Cool Sandy at the End' outfit looks just a tad whorier than your usual 'Cool Sandy at the End' outfit. And that's good.

7. Wolverine 'Grease'

That's the sheer genius of England's Peebles High School. They performed a 'Grease' with an all-Wolverine cast! I am so impressed. That is so fucking awesome.

(And just in case you didn't know...our own Biz played Frenchy on the stage. And was most likely AMAZING.)

Seen a pretty great kindergarten 'Elephant Man' production lately?

Write us and make us feel bad for not going!

Biz and Jordi

Princess Pony Party Amazing

North Catface, USA


Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Sorry VS. Mystic Skull
Which one would you play?
The game of 'Sweet Revenge' or 'Voodoo'?
Sure. Sorry looks pretty exciting (CRASH!), but Mystic Skull just has that extra something.
It could be the dolls and pins inside the game. And that you get to determine who gets the pins. And that the dolls getting the pins belong to the other players (so you can see instant results.)
Sorry just has game pieces and a chance to slide down the thermometer-looking thing on the board and say: "Soh-reeeeee!" Which was fun when you were I don't know....eight?
But voodoo is always fun.
Sorry, Sorry.
You lose.