Ellis & Barnes: Serious Mothers!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Greatest Local Ad

Hi PPPAers,

I know what you are wondering..."Biz, what else happened on the Honeymoon? How can we live vicariously through your honeymoon bliss if you don't post?"

Good questions. I have been busy and there is your answer.

But I am back to share with you something that when Stefan and I saw it, we knew it was a Pony classic and that our friends would see the hilarity in as we did.

Set Stefan and I were in our rented house, relaxing, and watching the local "What to do on Kauai" channel, which is a 3 hour loop of touristy things to do. We love this sort of thing. Apparently, screwing with monk seals is a big problem on the island. There is a group who has created these monk seal awareness ads in order to help tourists and locals stop doing things that might hurt a monk seal.

Behold...the greatest public awareness ad ever. (sorry, we had to wait a full three hours for it to come around again to record it. The first line is cut out...but you get it.)

Key things to look for:
1. This child's father's "iced tea" drinking problem. Iced tea bottles eh? Yeah, I had a neighbor growing up who loved drinking "Dr. Pepper" but it wasn't pepper if you catch my drift.
2. The younger sister. Watch her eyes...but don't watch too closely or she might possess your soul or a church might blow up near by. Someone should not be drinking iced tea when they are pregnant...wink ah wink.
3. The younger sister again. Listen for "...and we made him turn around and pick it up." MY EYES! I have looked into the face of evil and it is this child. (it's roughly .26.)
4. The incredibly threatening music. BUM BUM BUM!


Thursday, October 16, 2008





My Papa totally got Barry Manilow to do this. No ones Papa is as AWESOME as mine!

I opened this up and screamed "oh my god" for 15 minutes straight. Stefan can't hear right anymore.

Looks like we made it,


PSS. Papa and my sister Helen Michelle are on the world poker tour right now. Go get em!

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What to do with this desk?

OK...non-related wedding post. Don't cry.

Last night after the debate, CNN interviewed Hillary Clinton, live from where the debate took place. About 40 seconds to a minute in, in the background, you see some big ol' guys start gathering around the desk that the debate took place at. My first guess...and hope, is that these guys are about to start breaking down the desk while Hillary Clinton is talking live to CNN. I keep expecting someone to come over and tell them to get off the stage till she is done...but they don't. People do come over and join these guys though...for something better.

Please watch...i know it is over 5 minutes long...please watch this. No, its not some secret way for me to get you to listen to my hero Hillary. I actually have no idea what she talked about because of what was going on behind.

Watch it.

THAT IS AWESOME! Taking picture...and what...more and more guys join? That is fantastic. My guess is they are Obama fans because they were on the Obama side.

I was really surprised more people weren't laughing about this today.

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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Guess Who Went to Kauai on their Honeymoon?

These Guys!

Oh yeah! Welcome to Kauai, the Garden Island.
Stefan did an amazing job at planning the entire trip...which was the greatest gift he could have given me. I organize things for a living and to be able to just relax and go with the flow was great.
Guess who was met at baggage with leis?

Don't believe I could wear it more than once?*

(*Warning! Super unflattering picture coming up very soon of Biz)




*I warned you!

Let's all all take a moment to feel good about yourselves for not looking like this.

I'll wait.

Ok...and now let's cleanse the palate with an AWESOME shot of me.

Little known fact about is apparently paradise on earth.



What's that Stefan? said "PARADISE!"

Come on! A !^%@#* RAINBOW? Give me a break!

"Hey Biz? Where did you stay?"

Well, for the first week, we had a wonderful house on the North Shore. I am trying to think of the word to describe it. Hmmmm...what it is it...oh...I got it...

Follow me PPPAers down our pathway to awesome.

Here we are!
*some PPPAers may be wondering what is wrong with my face in all of these pictures. Don't panic. I have learned that the word for this is "smile." That is a smile on my face. Don't let it distract you. I promise it is a good thing and I enjoy it.

So the entire pathway to our cottage was lined with adventure plants, orchids growing wild, and plants with various fruits or things that looked like fruits dangling from them.

For example this.

What the hell is this!? A lemon? Stefan and I decided that is was filled with wasps. Deadly, jungle wasps. We then convinced ourselves that everything beautiful was probably filled with deadly, jungle wasps.

The only thing that sucked was our view.


Stefan's favorite part of the house was the solar heated, outdoor shower. If you will follow me it is just this way...OH! Sorry Stefan! AVERT YOUR EYES EVERYONE!

So...we spent a lot of time on the North Shore checking out the amazing beaches and the very charming and bohemian town of Hanalei. You will never guess what they had there...

...a tiki bar. (Stefan was in HELL...O heaven!)

Guess what they had there?
Mai Tais.

Guess what else. Mai Tais are apparently the only thing they serve on the island. It's like the national drink.

Mai Tai?

Do you know how to make any other tiki drinks?

Mai Tai.

How about a martini?

Mai Tai!

All right...I would like anything other than a mai tai please.

How about a groovy, Hawaiian band?

Or maybe you would prefer a MAI TAI!



You win...

Mai Tai.

Mai tai.

*There she is...the Biz that PPPaers have come to love.

We had these two mai tais and a depressing little place in the airport called "cocktails."


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Before the Honeymoon...

My boss just shared with me the photos she took at the wedding and I just had to share the following ones of Stefan.

Let me set the scene...everything is quiet...he reflects on the day...

...and suddenly the sweet, melodic sounds of the opening notes of Guns and Roses' "Sweet Child of Mine" cracks like thunder through the silence. Over the music, Tony Giles, voice of the Crimson Tide announces "And now, from San Juan Capistrano, CA and Sweden, I am pleased to introduce tiki aficionado and Star Wars geek, the man who is going to love Elizabeth for ever, Stefan Patrik Lawrence, THE GROOM!"

The crowd goes crazy!

And here we gooooooooooooooo!

That's my husband! You heard me...that is my husband!

OK...added bonus with these photos...check out who is lurking in the corner!!! It's our shotgun salute-r!

Classiest wedding...ever.

OK...I promise the honeymoon starts tomorrow. Want a little taste?


Oh god...sweet, sweet honeymoon, surrounded by non-ironic, matching, Hawaiian print outfits. Life is so good.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Guess Who Got Married Part 2

These Guys!'s my Papa and Tony Giles watching the Alabama Football game and is possibly one of the greatest wedding pictures I have ever seen.
It was THESE GUYS that got married.

Wow...does my face say happiness or what? I think I am actually pointing to the fact that I have removed my shoes and that this party is now "on."

Geoff Haggerty is making me a tad uncomfortable though. Stop LEERING!

I need to be honest with you dear PPAers. I have close to 600 photos of the last three weeks. As much as I would love to make this the most boring blog in the history of blogs, I am going to control myself and go with highlights rather than a minute by minute review.

Today we shall reflect upon the big day with some of my favorite pictures that have turned up on Facebook or from my camera. We are uploading EVERYTHING we have to Flicker over the next few days and will send that out to everyone who wants to look at themselves or at us being awesome. oh yeah. the The Lodge.

So we rented this amazing house in Old Fort, NC. It was designed like a 1920's railroad lodge so it was heavily train themed....

as well as heavily supportive of the lost art of taxidermy.

Ta and...

I think it is nice that the squirrel showed a little class by dressing up. Somebody needs to talk with that bull.

In this lovely picture of my dear bridesmaid Baz, you get a taste of all the themes the house has to offer...train memorabilia and the sawed off head of a once extinct animal.

Please note the bathroom to the right...helpful bride tip number 42...white lights strewn about a toilet equals romantic.

Friday was a day of hanging out and the welcome dinner at the lodge. Here are Baz and Livia looking their best for my special day.

Down in the game room there was a mad, all night long game of Monopoly. Talk about a wild the police and put away the blow...Alex just landed on Park Place!

Saturday morning, it's my special day and time to get beautiful. Who is looking forward to THIS for the rest of his life?

I actually love my hairdresser. The look on her face says "ozone be damned!" Helpful bride hint number 13...when it comes to your "bride hair," ozone be damned!

Hairspray, ham sandwiches, and tears...that's what brides are made of.

Here comes the groomsmen.

Here comes the bridesmaids!

Here comes the dog. Wait! Dog? That's right...random dog showed up to bless our wedding. Here he is in the bride tent, making sure I smell just right. He then ran down the aisle with Stefan...and right as we said "I Do" the dog said "I Do Too" by joining us at the alter. I am sure that dog will wind up mounted on a wall somewhere.

Speaking of having our wedding blessed, when the cheer went up after we said I Do, the sound of a celebratory shot gun rang out. A slightly inebriated neighbor honored us by shooting his shotgun in the air. I don't think Stefan and I could have asked for anything more magical than a dog and shotgun blessing.

Now where were we...oh yes...Here comes the Groom!

And here comes the Bride with Papa.

What was that? What shoes am I wearing? Oh those would be Ed Hardys. Oh yeah!

Did I mention that the wedding was announced by Tony Giles, the voice of the Alabama Crimson Tide? It was the coolest thing ever. Hearing his voice took me back to little league games and fireball jawbreakers. He announced the entire wedding party to a variety of selected theme songs. The highlight would be when we called "Roll Bride Roll!"
Every girl has her fantasy!
And then we were married. That very religious man between us is Reverend Kevin Chesley. He did such an amazing job. Along with being certified to perform marriages in North Carolina, Kevin can also sell you real estate on the moon. Give him a call while there is still space left.

And now, as the great orator Kevin Bacon once said, "Let's Dance!"

Here is the beautiful Jordana of PPPA fame and the lovely Livia of Livialand fame. Oh and me!
I like to call this picture, "mother of newborn on first vacation."

I like to call this one, "married couples" or "been there, done that." This features the lovely J and Martha, and Alex and Marni.

I call this one "DON"T TOUCH MY SCOTCH #@*(^^&%!!"

Man was this place filled with "atmosphere." By which I mean dead things on the wall.

This bear became the prom picture of the wedding. I believe that Monica Hill has a photo of almost everyone posing with the bear.

I would now like to end this installment with something unrelated to the Special Day. Stefan and I were wondering around Asheville and stumbled upon this little, un-ironic gem at a thrift store. Made in the early 80's, I give you....

Offshore Drilling, the belt buckle.

I like to imagine that this is one of many made. Maybe for a company wide gift or the Republican National Convention. Who thought this was a high demand buckle? "Well Larry, we have made em with deer and tractors and skulls and American Flags...what else?"
"I got it! Offshore Drilling!"
"Brilliant! Lets go eat cucumber sandwiches!"
Tune in tomorrow for a special video posting.
xoxo, Biz